Orange to the MAX!!

Okay, I was just looking through my journal, and I noticed that I have a running total of twelve unfinished Children's Story ideas. Most of these stories I have the basic plot written out, and a few of the characters sketched... And then I was wondering, why can't we have another Children's Book assignment for Children's Lit? One with words possibly? Because I mean; Hello?!?! Creative genius over here Ms. Snyder!?!

I mean seriously; if I were to turn one of these twelve ideas into a homework assignment, it would get finished for sure! Maybe I should talk to my teacher and suggest it, so that we aren't stuck reading the most boring book on Robin Hood in existence.

Red

I wish love was as simple as choosing who to share the other half of my cupcake with. And that my problems were only as difficult as deciding which color crayon I should use next.

~Josh

Gray... I think

Why is it that the day after I decide to kill it, I begin to have an emotional attachment again? Why do I keep feeling connected to her? It's almost like an unspoken obligation where I'm not allowed to leave. I follow the cycle of being an extreme jerk, to being "nice" and indulging in lies, to feeling completely awful, to wanting it all back. I keep lying to myself. All signs point to me liking someone else, so why do I keep coming back to her? I just keep causing her pain. I keep acting like a character I hate, she does the same thing. She indulges in lying to herself to give a person she cares about temporary happiness, when all the while she is secretly loving someone else. I hate this character; but it's my similarities to her that keep me interested.

I've said I'd never, and probably will never, believe in love - or rather, believing in being in love. But I suppose that is also a lie. I believe in love. I see it all the time. But, me, personally, just believe in true love. It may be the child inside me that is never destined to leave, but I believe in that fairytale love. I'll know at first sight... She'll find me unexpectedly, and she'll never leave me thoughts. If I think that's already happened, has it really? I wish... It'd make things simpler.

If I believe in the "one true love" theory, than why do I insist on indulging in people I feel nothing for? I guess that makes me a jerk. An indifferent jerk. I don't care about your feelings; I only care about me.

Am I selfish? I don't think so... But wouldn't anyone truly selfish be so self-absorbed they could never think they are? I see myself as caring about other people, but then they turn around and practically tell me I'm heartless.

Am I worrying to much about things that don't even matter? I think they matter... But that's only because of my self-destructive attitude. I can never hold on to anything without knowing one day I'm going to let it go. I'm going to let it go and let it shatter on the floor; only to walk away, indifferent about the whole situation. I can only hope that my true love will change that, that she can be so amazingly perfect for me that there is no way I could destroy a bond I build with her.

Enough of ranting, I felt like I jumped around too much...

- Josh

Gray

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday.

*sigh*

Green

There is a saying, a rather obvious saying, that goes something like this: "Winners never lose," or "I'm a Winner, so therefor, I don't lose." This saying is the most false saying I have ever heard. I have met people who never lose, and they are some of the worst people I have ever met. These so called winners, always become pompous - not almost always, always. If they aren't conceited right at the start, they will eventually become so, and look at everyone else as losers and scum. Sadly, this is the world's definition of someone who wins at something all the time. If this is a winner, than I would prefer to be a loser.

Honestly, I have never been the best at anything. I've been acknowledged, and even praised, for the things I've done; but in no way have I ever been considered the best. I've always come close; I've always been second-to-best, but never once the winner. It's just who I am... Of course -- if I followed the rules winners want us "losers" to follow, I should wallow in self-pity and make myself feel even worse for "losing." I must admit that I have occasionally done this, but part of me is to just move on and not let things bother me. And plus this whole self-pity thing, it against everything I have ever been taught; and that is, to learn from my mistakes. It is learning from a mistake that a person becomes stronger, better, best. Learning is the key to becoming a winner, and - following the world's definition - most winners have learned close to nothing.

Most people look at the world as being separated into winners and losers, black and white -- gray does not exist. Everyone - every single person - is in fact, gray. Even the people that never lose at anything are gray. Why? Because they have officially lost at winning; the moment they think they are better than you, they lose. Like I said earlier, I have never been the best at anything. It is this small part of my life that keeps me gray. The fact that I never completely win, and am constantly losing, keeps me very gray. I am positive that if I constantly won, I wouldn't even hesitant to flaunt this in your face. I don't deserve to win, because I can't handle winning. It is the second-best prize that gives me just enough of winner and just enough of loser, to keep me beautifully gray.

There is saying, that goes something like this: "Winners never lose." This saying is false; so I've corrected it:

True Winners love to lose; because they win at that too.

Blue: I Bet the Duck is in that Hat

I was watching Glee tonight, and I cried. I can honestly say that I cried. I'm not sure what it was; maybe a bunch of bottled emotion, and a song was enough to bring it out. Anyway, I cried because Finn sang a song to "his" unborn daughter. He wasn't ever planning on ever sticking around for her, and he worried about her feeling abandoned. He sang the song "I'll Stand by You" by the Pretenders... He sang it to the monogram, and cried. And his mom saw him, and he confessed about Quinn being Pregnant -- Both started crying, while Finn's mom held him in her arms.

The crying helped... But now I feel sad again.

Later in the episode, he told Quinn's parents. They kicked Quinn out. It pissed me off. I hate people like that. How could someone do that to their own child, whom they supposedly love. I realized I could never do that to my daughter if this ever happened. Even if it is against everything I believe in, and everything she has been taught, I couldn't throw her out of my house. I would do as the before mentioned song says. I'd stand by her. She made a mistake and she would need me more than ever before. She'd need help, care, and most importantly love. Just because I wouldn't approve of the choice she made, she is still my daughter.

Of course, this is all figuratively speaking. This is only what I would do. I don't have a daughter.

And then finally, I came to the realization that the generation of young-adults that I'm in is vastly different than our parents. We're going to make a very different world, and very different parents. Most parents today would probably kick their daughter out if she got pregnant and had been taught to abstain. When my generation are parents, most of us wouldn't care very much. Of course we would be sad that our child is being forced to grow up too fast, and having to make huge decisions you never wanted them to make. But we would love our children, and give them everything they need... They wouldn't have to do it alone.

I look forward to the better place that while be my generation's adult world.

Red

Oh my gosh! He is so stupid, fat, annoying, ugly, frustrating, selfish and rude.